We went live—no script—just two women comparing notes on faith, feminism, Substack, and what happens when you stop living for the afterlife and start loving your actual life.
I ( Jill Hart ) hopped on a Substack Live with Wendi Gordon after meeting on Notes (proof that Internet serendipity is real). We swapped stories about deconstructing high-control religion, being women over 50 building our “best chapter,” and how Substack’s curious, kind corner of the internet makes real community possible.
What we let go of
Shame as a spiritual strategy. We talked about how shame sneaks in through “original sin,” policing behavior, and weaponized forgiveness.
If your spiritual path mostly makes you small, it’s not a path—it’s a cage.
The end-times mindset. I spent years waiting to die well, instead of learning to live well. That’s not holiness—that’s avoidance.
Patriarchy dressed up as piety. When leadership uses “submission” to silence women (and anyone different), it’s control, not care.
What we kept
Jesus the exemplar, not the enforcer. Love everyone—including yourself. The older we get, the more obvious it is: that’s the whole game.
Community, not conformity. Church can be beautiful when it’s a table, not a test. (Wendi’s current church reads a welcome every week that includes everyone; that’s the energy.)
Spiritual practice that actually heals. Wendi cuddles a tiny pink octopus on her nightstand—an “inner child ambassador.” Silly? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely. Re-parenting yourself works.
On labels, politics & the myth of “our side”
Labels flatten people. Real humans are messier—and better—than “left/right,” “believer/atheist.”
Silence is also a choice, and it has consequences.
We can fight harmful systems and own our part. Kindness isn’t passivity; it’s power with a steady hand.
The over-50 upgrade (why this season rocks)
We were told 50+ was the slow fade. It’s not. It’s the start. We’ve got perspective, boundaries, and receipts. We can build communities that welcome nuance, protect the vulnerable, and have the guts to talk about hard things—without throwing people away.
What actually changes things
Not the next “perfect leader.” Not yelling across the Internet. Conversations. Real listening. Micro-bravery. Showing up with radical courtesy. Picking up trash in the park because a kid called her mom a hero for doing it (yes, Wendi’s story made me tear up, too).
If you’re deconstructing (or curious), here are gentle prompts
Where does shame still run the show? What does love say instead?
What belief is costing you your aliveness?
Where could you replace a label with a conversation?
What small kindness can you offer today that no one will see—but you’ll feel?
Join the circle
Wendi is hosting a Zoom conversation on September 7, 2025 for people who want to help create an authentic community. It’s free, but seats are limited, so sign up now if you’d like to participate. And you’re welcome to just listen if you don’t want to talk to strangers online :)
Timestamped highlights (for skimmers & sharers)
00:03 — Why Substack Notes > social media
00:06 — From rule-keeping to real life (and why “waiting for the rapture” is still waiting to die)
00:10 — The patriarchy problem & church shame cycles
00:14 — Inner-child care (yes, the pink octopus)
00:20 — Long marriages, real boundaries, choosing partners who choose you back
00:32 — Labels, politics, and refusing to throw people away
00:40 — Choice, consequences, and courage in daily life
01:04 — Wendi’s community invite & why we need brave rooms now
If this conversation landed, leave a comment with one belief you’re releasing this season—and one practice (however tiny) that makes you feel more you.
Want more spaces like this?
Join Wendi’s upcoming Zoom conversation.
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